Need You More Than Ever!

Hello Everyone -  Today's appointment didn't bring the news we were hoping for.  I'm back down to 5 follicles.  By retrieval day these follicles must be at least 18 mm in size.  Today, my biggest was 12.5 and all others were between 8-10.  This means that I will not proceed on Tuesday.  If the follicles continue to grow it will be more like Thursday or Friday.  I have to admit...this is not promising news.  For my age I should have at least 15-20 follicles with the high dose of meds that I'm on.  As a matter of fact, this would be expected out of someone much older than me.  My chances of success have dwindled quit a bit, not to mention our finances.  I've had to order way more meds than originally expected and now I have to order more to get me through this next week.  What was supposed to be an exciting day at the doctor, turned cold very quickly.

I have to say, it's SO scary to put EVERYTHING you have into something.  Either a miracle will occur or complete devastation.  That's a very hard risk to take.  We won't give up though.  We have to continue to move forward and believe in that miracle.  I keep asking myself...HOW today....how do you just let it all go and put all your faith, hopes and dreams into God's hands.  It's the scariest thing I've ever faced.  I've given my heart and soul to this one dream and today was the first day that I had to step back and realize that this will take a miracle to come true.  I do believe in miracles and that's why I'm going to keep proceeding down a very fragile and scary road.  I can't control the outcome, but I sure can do everything in my power to do all I can until then.  

I just ask for your prayers and support.  After today, I realize that this process is only going to get tougher.  We are doing our best to remain positive and hopeful.  My next appointment is Tuesday morning at 11:00.  Please pray that the follicles I have continue to grow and remain healthy.  The minimum they will proceed with is 5 and at least I have that right now.

We love you all so much!

Ang  and Josh